Oh Mein Gott

I'm so Gott-damned tired...Happy, but sehr, sehr tired. Things have finally started to take some form of order around here with der wedding planning und all; I just hired a coordinator for everything else. Ist nicht das I'm nicht looking forward to it all; on the contrary, I'm elated. I'm just...nicht gut under stress.

I'm pleased to say Herr Ishida finished mein dress. Before any of you have der gaul to open your mouths about das, nein...I'm nicht wearing it during der ceremony. Ist only for ein portrait und ein few other pictures. Nein...der only one wearing ein dress at this point das I know of ist mein Alan, but das ist to be expected.

As for Valentine's Day...It went sehr well. I got to sleep in. Das in itself ist ein huge gift as of late; I've been feeling more und more tired lately und I just can't seem to stay awake sehr long during der evenings. Breakfast in bed wasn't bad either und of course I doted on mein Engel ein great deal und gave him ein little show of gratitude.

I also had Herr Major over during der late week und spoke with him. Ist been gut to get things off of mein chest und to talk to someone whom I've served over der decades. I hope to entertain his company again in der near future.

This month has been so busy with der planning und der organization und der strange gay men showing me ornate pastries und plates! I've never seen so many plates in mein life...Ist ein harrowing ordeal. I still need to have mein tuxedo fitted properly; you'd think they'd take into consideration just how tall some people can be, but noooo....Inconsiderate bastards...

 Pickles und I have decided to have der wedding sometime in late Febuary; everyone should be recieving invitations. We've decided to have it in der Fatherland in mein home-state of Hesse. Gott, it'll be sehr gut to be home again. Der country-side ist still clear und der borders of der Rhön Mountains are just as beautiful as ever. I've really missed it after all these years und ein open-air ceremony couldn't be done anywhere more pristine.

I'm so excited und exhausted...Now der only thing das troubles me ist whether mein Kinder are going to tear into der other guests und so help me, if any of you do, I'll fry you right there. Das ist nicht ein empty threat. I'll do it.

Well, der holidays were quite bizarre, but it's not to say they weren't enjoyable. This Christmas certainly taught me that I'm not quite as nimble as I used to be und that I definitely need to take up yoga before I tackle handling mein Liebling's gift to me. I'm sehr glad that he likes der little terror I bought him; obese kittens are quite hard to find. Speaking of kittens, I do hope Jan und Kim's are acceptable; I just couldn't resist.

I've come to learn that going out to der shooting range with ein load of booze isn't ein gut idea. Granted, it was all an accident, my thigh really didn't need ein bullet in it. I went out shooting with Nathan ein few days before New Year's und we were drinking und cutting der fool. He had some pretty nice targets of some fucked up clown, but he missed at one point und then der bullet ricocheted off ein tree und der next thing I know, I'm bleeding all over der place. Und I was just standing there screaming like ein girl und flailing around until he carried me inside. I managed to dig it out alright, but I've been sort of gimping around der Haus as of late; at least I learned mein lesson though.

I'm feeling sort of restless just sitting around; though, I should probably sit down with Pickles und start planning der wedding. It all seems surreal und I really couldn't be happier for it.

I'm not too happy at der moment. Not to say that I'm not sehr, sehr glad to have Pickles back from L.A., but...I suppose I should just leave it when I say I'm bothered. I'm thinking of going out to one of der clubs again...maybe just going out und drinking; I'm undecided. I haven't been out shooting in ein long time; mostly too busy to do anything outside of playing Duck Hunt und those stupid first-person shooter games. I don't know what's wrong with me, really. Tired und stressed I suppose.

I finally tried on mein uniform. It's beneath me; does absolutely nothing for mein figure. I hope those Gestapo uniforms were all made by greasy Italians if this ist what I have to put up with. Still, krieg ist krieg und it should prove to be interesting.

Oh my...where to begin? So far, mein vacation has been absolutely wonderful. I never expected mein Engel's proposal, but how could I say 'No'? I can only imagine der creative threats mein Kinder have given him...Und on that note, I do appreciate it, however I do wish you lot wouldn't do it so often. Here's looking at you, <i>Jan</i>.

Pickles, would you still like to go to Japan? We don't have to if you don't want to; I'm easy.

[Lock to Pickles]

I've been thinking und I feel ein little bad... You asked mein Lieutenant, but...have you even talked with your own family? If they don't approve...it wouldn't change anything, really; but it's ein terrible thing to keep from one's parents, even if you do hate them.

[/Lock]

I've finalized all of mein paperwork; it's all been filed. I'm through with it all until after Thanksgiving und if any of those wormy little boys from der labs try to bother me during mein vacation, I promise there will be Hell to pay.

I'm planning on spending some quality time with Liebling und if der time permits, visiting mein Kinder as well; I do miss mein Lieutenant. I don't expect Pickles und I would be travelling der entire time, but just because I'm at home does not mean I wish to be bothered unless it's an emergency. I've had enough distractions und now I'm ready to involve myself in ein project of mein choosing: I'm going to redecorate mein bathroom.

[[Lock to Kim]]

Fraulein, you are more than welcome to bother me any time; just give me a call before-hand. Bring der boy if you like.

[[/Lock]]

Gut Gott, what ein week this has been! I was more than pleased to attend Herr White's party despite der rather large rising I obtained on der back of mein head from fainting. Between that und caring for mein invalid Kind, I've been run ragged. I do hope I'm able to obtain der equipment I need to fix his chip. I know it must be...ein hindrance at der least.

I'm thinking of doubling up on mein work und taking some time off again; it would be nice to have ein vacation, even if it only lasted ein few weeks. I still haven't actually used der plane Pickles gave me. Perhaps we could go somewhere....

Oh, Gott...Oh, Gott... I came back to mein room und everything was just dandy und I was eating some of mein Kind's cookies und I started feeling strange UND NOW DER GOTT DAMNED WALLS ARE MOVING AGAIN! They're coming after me just like last time, only now they're even more pissed und they want mein soul! Liebling, where are you?! I'm locked in mein closet, but don't let der wall demons get you too! Gott! Someone help me!

Damn, I'm sore! That fucking corset was ein bit much for der full three days. I suppose I'll just have to pace myself next time. I do sincerely hope mein Liebling enjoyed his celebration, though. I felt so terrible having to lie to him, but I wanted him to have der most enjoyable birthday he's ever had!

I think I got ein little drunk towards der end, though. I remember one of those young men on der ship saying something derogatory und me pulling mein vhip on him und his friends. It gets ein little hazy after that, und der next thing I remember ist pulling some baggies out of mein corset vhen I got undressed. Das ist fine, though; I'm more than happy to let mein Engel have them as long as he'll share just ein bit.

Herr Amarao, I sincerely enjoyed speaking vith you.  I hope you'll drop by sometime und ve'll drink again.

 Vell, since der whole...incident... Pickles und I decided to have his little celebration last night und I gave him his gift: his own personal collection of pornographic photos of me und....ein clone of myself! Alan ist der sweetest thing I've ever seen und I was so happy that he und Liebling got along so well! After all the crazy things going on, I thought perhaps that mein origiinal idea of an orgy might be somewhat...unsafe, but I think Alan will suffice nicely. 

Happy Birthday again, mein Pickles. May there be many more happy years to come.

Der Fraulien's dead. I don't know exactly what happened, but Frau Mine's been killed. I can only assume Herr Offdensen had something to do with it; she was covered in bite wounds und I found heavy amounts of venom in her system... Dear Gott, things are getting out of control...

Liebling, you stay in your room. I don't want you to argue with me; stay in your room. I've got some things to take care of, so I won't be joining you. Just stay safe, mein Pickles.

Liebling's birthday ist coming soon und I feel so terrible that I haven't had much time to be with him lately, but I've been so busy! I was able to work out der kinks in my previous psycho-analyzation of some of der fans for Herr Offdensen und I've been doing ein little private research on my own in my spare time, not to mention having to keep ein eye on things going on back at der compound. My staff there has proven capable of keeping things in order during my absence and I hope things will continue to go smoothly while I'm away; though, I'm sure I'll have to come check on things personally sometime soon... Have to keep them on their toes.

I believe Herr Pickles will like his gift; I tend to do extravagent things und I think this one has topped them all off. I suppose I'll just have to wait und see...

Well, things have been quite eventful since Herr Offdensen allowed me to move into Mordhaus und work for them. I can't divulge much of what I've done, but I can say that great strides are being made in der psychological evaluations of der fans. The rest ist pretty much classified beyond that.

Poor Liebling has been feeling under der weather as of late; probably one of those damned summer colds. I think I'll make him some of those cinnamon buns he likes so much und see if he feels like eating them. Once he's over this, I may see if I can visit Herr 24, but that's only if mein Pickles thinks he can manage without me ein day or so.

I'm also glad to see that Herr Offdensen has returned to normal since der little fiasco with der catgirl. I should probably try und recall der FREAKS I sent after her; I think I lost one or two though... Still, no matter, but I should really be losing pounds und not vampires. Gott...I feel like I'm getting fat. Ever since I've started living here I've been getting decent food und probably overeating. I should seriously start hitting the gym more than once ein week.

I must say that staying at Mordhaus is turning out to be a wonderful experience! So wonderful, in fact, that I intend to take Herr Offdensen's offer to work there for a while. Of course I'll still work on Herr Major's projects off of der property, but I might be staying there for a bit longer than I first expected...which is fine by me if Herr Pickles would enjoy it. I'm happy to say we're both feeling better after our initial depression und I must say, he certainly has good taste in liqour!

[Lock from Pickles]

Alright, I've been thinking about it for ein while, so I'm just going to throw it out there. Does anyone know anything about perfecting clones? I've toyed with the idea for quite some time und since mein Liebling's birthday is coming up I thought I might clone him like...ein catgirl or something...Ja, ein catgirl. It'd beat der hell out of having to summon und banish them consistently und that way, he could have some company when I'm working or just not around, you know? They're harmless, anyway; so there wouldn't be der worry of me doing anything dangerous with it. I mean, what else do you do with ein catgirl?

[/Lock] 

As most of my dear companions in Millenium know, I've been working mien ass off since Christmas on a special little project, even after I moved to Underland which then completely screwed over mein relationship with Frau Hitler as I was a slave to the work. Now that it's done, I'd like to take this time to announce that I'll be taking the month of July off as I need a break from all the stress.

Herr Pickles has kindly offered to let me stay at Mordhaus, but that does not give mein cohorts permission to bother me over there; I'm takiing a damn vacation! Sorry about that...I'm a bit jittery. Anyway, I put in my notice to Herr Major a week ago and finished the paperwork, so come the first I'll be leaving. I trust you all won't destroy yourselves in the time it takes me to unwind. I leave everything up to you, dear Lieutenant. Take care of things for me and don't let Schrodinger in the lab if you can help it; last time he got in it was trashed.

I've been in sort of a depression since Girl Hitler und I broke off; things just weren't working out und I moved back in der compound vith Millenium. I've just sort of...sulked, I suppose, since then und haven't felt like much. Still, I suppose it's time to move on und get out of this monotonous rut.

Now, though, I figure since I'm single again, I might as well pay Pickles und Skwissgaar their bribe in style! Boys, you make some free time, der catgirls are coming! We'll need a _LARGE_ room for it if you want a proper orgy. You just let Dok know when you want it to happen und he'll make it happen!

To be truthful, I just wouldn't mind having der company... ^_^"

I still ain't found Dok in my body, and I'm kinda sad about that. I wanna drink with him while we're switched!

Ya know, I've been enjoyin bein a skinny blond and all, but I miss my own body. I can't play drums right in this body! The arms and legs are too weird and long fer me. But now that I'm seein Dok's body from his view, Rip was right about that fashion designer guy we had. He woulda looked fuckin good in those clothes. My body? Not so much. But I ain't complainin.

At least he's gaht a pretty good tolerance. I ain't puttin any kinds of crap in his body like I'd put in mine cus I don't wanna be killin his body with me still in it or nothin,  but at least I can still drink and shit.

I still want my catgirls!

[Lock from Mentok] 

I have already mentioned to Herr Monarch that ve are doing ourselves no favors by competing in this bid var! The only thing we are accomplishing ist raising Mentok's profit! I propose we allow Herr Ofdensen to win this DVD und seal it avay for good. Would that be an acceptable conclusion to matters?

[/Locked from Mentok]

I can honestly say that der whole bit about ripping oneself into ein alternate universe vith ein time machine is completely und utterly possible. Meine dear Girl Hitler und I have spent about der last veek or so touring meine old stomping grounds back vhen der Fuhrer vas still only interested in molesting catgirls. Gott, it vas fantastic! I even managed to convince der rest of der SS that I'd just trimmed meine hair und vas able to get ein meeting together so that meine lovely Girl Hitler could meet der man himself. ^_^ I hope she enjoyed it.

Anyvay, I don't think I damaged anything through der process; no outlandish butterfly effect vill happen as far as I know.

[Locked from Girl Hitler]

Und thank Gott, I vas able to keep her from seeing der past me in any vay, shape, form, or fashion! I don't think I'd ever live it down if she saw me at one of der parties der boys und I used to have. I don't know vhy everyone hates karaoke so much...they didn't used to. ^_^;

[/Locked]

Well, this weekend I escorted mein dear Girl Hitler to her press conference. I suppose things got a little out of control vhen I threatened to rip out that one reporter's intestines for slandering der frau's name, but other than that, this has had to have been der most wonderful time of mein life!

Frau Hitler und I are ein item! Oh, I could just die; I'm so happy! <33

It vas amazing. I never expected her to reciprocate mein feelings und then one thing lead to another und I wound up asking her out und we went und...I don't really remember vhat movie we saw; I vasn't paying attention! <3 Der goddess she ist has mein heart!